A personal weblog of Paddy Foran, updated daily. Uncensored, unfiltered, and mainly for his personal benefit, this blog may offend you, hurt your feelings, or most likely, lead you to believe the author is a freak. Proceed with caution: here there be dragons.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I feel like I have different groups of friends, and that different behaviours are appropriate for each. There are the TEDxBuffalo organisers, who I could spend hours with and never be bored. There are my Dirty Little Freaks, a group of four to seven people, depending, who I turn to when the shit hits the fan. There are my high school friends, and even they break down into different groups. But I still feel awkward, because I've so segmented a personality.

Perhaps examples would be better.

There's Susan, who is moving to Phoenix. I adore Susan. I think she's fun to be around, and I enjoy her company.  But I only know her through TEDxBuffalo, because, like most the TEDx organisers, she's at a different stage in her life than I am. It would be weird for me to hang out with her. The same goes for Kevin and Mark and all of the other organisers. I will legitimately miss seeing these people every week, because it was always so much fun. I'll still see Leah, but she goes into an entirely separate group, because she's my boss. I'm going to miss these people, but it would be awkward to invite them to hang out, or watch movies with me and my friends, or just kill time. That's not the kind of relationship we have.

How do I say goodbye to someone like that? How do I say "Susan, I'll miss you while you're in Phoenix, because you not only put up with my silliness but encouraged it"? How do I tell Kevin that I value knowing him not because he's an editor at Lifehacker and one of the most well-connected people I've met, but because he tells me stories about the RIT Computer Science students while he drives me home, or because I have a deep-seated respect for his ability to so effortlessly never let you down. That's besides his generosity; keep in mind, I only know him because some random developer of an app he covered emailed him out of the blue and said "Hi, we live in the same city" and Kevin not only replied but said "let's meet up sometime".

I know some amazing people, but I have no idea how to connect with them.

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